I Solemnly Swear that Potter Is up to No Good
by graylady21
Summary: FORMERLY "6TH YEAR AT HOGWARTS"! Lily and James are in their 6th year at Hogwarts. James loves Lily. Lily utterly despises James. Sirius is weird as ever. Full of hilarious pranks, unbelievable situations and, of course, heart-meltring romance.
1. Maple Syrup, Dance Parties, and Photos

Lily stepped onto Platform 9 ¾ just as the train arrived. Her thick dark red hair danced in the wind and her green eyes sparkled in anticipation for her 6th year at Hogwarts.

She pushed her cart a couple meters before hearing a loud shriek, she whipped her head around and found her best friends, Anna and Christine, shouting their heads off, giggling and jumping at the same time, she quickly joined in.

"Look at them, just look, and they accuse us of being immature. They're the ones carrying on like mad banshees." James Potter said as he walked onto the platform. He looked over at his best friend and noticed that he was practically drooling over a certain screaming brunette.

"Nice choice Padfoot, although I'm pretty sure that you were the one saying that blonds were-"

"That was before shudder Katherine."

"She was the one who-"

"Yeah"

"With the maple syrup? Or was it-"

"No that was Amanda."

"Oh! Katherine! I remember her, your darling Kitty Kat who got you those extra special pajamas for your birthday and…umm…broke your broom because she said you loved it more?"

Sirius Black buried his head in his hands momentarily thinking of his lost broom before raising his head and shaking out his black hair. As soon as James noticed the mischievous twinkle in his best friend's eyes he smiled and immediately started to brainstorm. They promptly walked to the train in search of a compartment while barely noticing all of the conspicuous hair flicking and giggling that was going on.

Lily Evans watched James give a girl a huge wink while walking with Sirius and sighed. James Potter was as cocky as ever and here she had been hoping for a change. Ever since their 4th year when James took a sudden interest in her she had been doing her best to avoid him, that was an extremely difficult job considering he did just the opposite.

"Worrying about James already?" asked Anna, "I'm sure he grew up over the summer, especially after what happened last year."

Lily thought back, her memories of the incident were all crammed together and confusing, she saw random parts of it in a quick blur,

_Snape was on the ground, gagging on soap bubbles, then hanging from the air._

_Sirius was laughing. _

_Lily was screaming at James, "You're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter…I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!" _

_Remus was staring in shock._

"_You make me sick!"_

_She was stomping her way thought the entertained crowd of students…_

_She was watching the aftermath from the Gryffindor tower…_

She shook her head violently to clear it of the images.

"Come on lets get on the train, it's leaving soon and we still have to get our trunks on!" shouted Christine over all the noise.

Lily finally returned from the Prefects compartment, she, Christine and Anna sat in their own compartment for the rest of the ride. The compartment was filled with sweet wrappers (both muggle and wizard), laughter, summer stories and hooting from Anna's owl.

They sat listening, munching on chocolate frogs and laughing while Christine talked about how her 18 years old brother had 'accidentally' transfigured her foot into a duck's. Lily then talked about Petunia's new boyfriend Vernon, a.k.a. Walurus man, and Anna about how she had bumped into Amos Diggory at Diagon Alley with 'that Hufflepuff girl'.

They were making their way through their umpteenth licorice wands when the door slid open revealing Alice Longbottom. The girls threw some candy at her in their sugar rush state, exchanged greetings in abnormally high voices and then had a dance party.

The girls were all sitting/ lying on the train seats, feeling completely drained after their sugar rushes, when the door opened again, this time showing the famous/ infamous Marauders.

Lily had been gazing at the landscape, frowning as she thought about how Petunia hated her, and didn't notice the entrance. She remained in this pensive state until a toned arm wrapped its way around her shoulders and pulled her towards a certain seeker who was smiling at her and ruffling his hair simultaneously.

He said, "Hey honey, sorry it took me so long, I know you've been in agony without me all summer."

Her frown deepened

Everyone stared at her expectantly; she didn't disappoint them (except the insufferable James Potter, of course)

"Potter," she began calmly "you have exactly 3 second to remove your arm before I hex you into oblivion."

An alarmed look crossed James' face,

"3,"

All of the other occupants of the compartment distanced themselves from the redhead,

"2,"

James recovered from his shock and gently lifted his arm off of her looking quite put-out.

Sirius promptly started laughing and in between his fits of laughter managed to say, "she got you there mate!"

Needless to say James moved to the other side of the compartment and sat there for the rest of the ride while conversing with Sirius, Anna, Alice and Peter. Every so often he would gaze at Lily hopefully, willing her to like him.

Lily on the other hand took no notice of him and talked animatedly with Remus and Christine.

That night Lily went to sleep worrying about all of her homework, double checking in her brain that she had done it right. She also thought about her closest friends, Anna, Christine, Alice and Remus, especially Remus. He was looking more worried than ever before and had a tired, tattered air about him.

James didn't fall asleep for the longest time. He had hoped that over the summer Lily had forgiven him for what he had done to Snape, but that was obviously untrue. If anything she was even colder towards him.

He glanced at the row of picture he had set on the windowsill near his bed. They were all picture of Lily Evans. Sirius had stolen most of them, although he had managed to 'find' some himself, and 'borrow' a couple from the girl's friends.

In all of the enchanted ones where she had been waving happily at previous owners, she was now permanently angry and hiding behind the frame. He sighed deeply. Then he looked at his favorite picture, this one was an ordinary muggle photo, and in it Lily was smiling, her eyes were shining with laughter and her hair was resting delicately on her shoulders.

It had been that gorgeous hair which prompted him to ask her out for the first time. He had noticed it one day and walked up to her… she had listened to him intently, even kindly, before politely refusing. He had gained some respect for her, she wasn't just another girl madly in love with James Potter, she was something special. He hadn't been able to take the rejection and kept asking, she had gotten annoyed and the angry. Now he was in a funny situation. He was in love with a girl who utterly despised him.


	2. Thinking, Purple Monkeys, and Cheese

James had been thinking,

Since 6:00am, when he had woken up,

And then again at 6:30 when a certain redhead had entered the common room.

Lily had been thinking.

Since 6:10am when she had woken up and destroyed half of her bed (and most of Christine's) looking for her missing transfiguration book,

And then again at 6:35 when she had noticed James sitting on a couch next to her book in the common room, and staring. A lot.

Peter had been thinking about food. Especially cheese.

Then he had seen Lily yell something at James about stealing textbooks and staring at people.

Then he had seen Remus' tie, which had yellow and red stripes, yellow, like cheese, which brings us back to that topic.

Anna had been thinking, ever since she had seen Peter chewing Remus' tie (the one with yellow stripes), while Remus tried to push him away.

Remus had been thinking about the Transfiguration summer assignment,

Then Lily had exploded at James, and when their argument got very heated, she had changed his ears in enchiladas.

That was when Peter had stopped salivating over Remus' tie (which Remus had decided to give Peter as a gift after the second bite), and moved on to jumping on James' head in hope of tasting the delicious wonder that is enchilada.

Christine had been thinking, ever since Lily threw her (literally) out her bed mumbling something about a textbook.

Later she had been thinking about textbooks in general, and the pink, furry pompoms on her shoes, Charms, Quidditch, and finally dancing polka-dotted monkeys.

Sirius had been thinking.

Which made everyone else think "SIRIUS IS THINKING?"

Then they all shouted "SIRIUS IS THINKING!"

That lifted Sirius out of his dream-world of pranks, girls, rainbow candies, and polka-dotted monkeys, and made him exclaim "Hey! I think all the time!"

"When?" asked Anna

"All the time!" protested Sirius

"Uh huh. Sure." Lily said sarcastically.

"What do you mean? Who do you think came up with the idea to make all the ghosts pink? Or how about the time that-"

"Hey that was my idea!" James shouted.

"Well I did the one when half the students grew beards because of the potion we put in their pumpkin juice!"

"No, actually that was James," said Christine.

"How did you know that?" asked Remus.

"He was the one who got detention, and I remember that one because I was one of the people who grew a beard!"

"Oh yah" said James, "HA! HA! HA! HA!"

"Real mature," Lily rolled her eyes, and left the room.

"Wait Lillikins, I remember the gorgeous sheen of your facial hair!" yelled James running after her.

Then everyone else heard James serenading Lily, and asking her to the Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer. Shortly afterwards there was a loud 'BANG!' And a stream of loud curse words coming from James.

"MAD WOMAN!" was all that Christine heard that actually made sense and lacked profanity.

Christine, Anna, Remus, and Peter erupted in laughter (although Peter wasn't sure what he laughing about).

Then Remus asked Anna if she was ready to go to breakfast. She blushed and mumbled something, and then walked out the portrait hole with him. Christine smiled, 'O la la!' she thought. Peter quickly followed suite thinking hungrily of (you guessed it) cheese.

"Stop it!" yelled Sirius, and then he looked around the common room, which was empty except for Christine, who was looking at him in confusion.

"Ooops! I didn't mean to yell," Said Sirius, "it's just that the monkeys were dancing, really annoyingly, I mean come on can't you at least learn to dance properly, I thought monkeys were smart! Smarter than Peter at least! I mean, wait Peter dances worse than the monkeys, sorry- oops, I, yeah. Sorry."

"Monkeys?" questioned Christine.

"Yeah, little purple ones that have-"

"Yellow polka-dots!"

"YEAH! Wait- how did you know that?"

"ummmm… well I….ummm…"

"Never mind, care to join me on my way to breakfast?" asked Sirius teasingly, standing up and offering her a hand. "Or are the monkeys bothering you too much to concentrate on my awesome wonderfulness and totally glorious hair?"

"You're so full of it," Christine shoved him so that he fell on the couch and left.

Unfortunately for Sirius, Peter had left a piece of a cheesy glob on the couch, which ended up in the 'glorious' hair of one Mr. Sirius Black, who didn't even notice because he had been thinking.


	3. Notes, Handsomeness and Winning Battles

Lily was quite content with her class schedule, she had all of her favorite classes, and only a couple that she wasn't so pass

Lily was quite content with her class schedule, she had all of her favorite classes, and only a couple that she wasn't so passionate about.

Christine was more than content with her schedule, it was awesome!

Anna was fairly satisfied, although she dreaded returning to potions (necessary to become a healer like she wanted)

Peter couldn't care less

Remus was especially happy because… wait that's a secret.

Sirius was excited because all of the best pranks were planned in classes such as potions with Slughorn, herbology, and DADA. Luckily his schedule was stuffed full of them.

James was in a good mood because his schedule looked suspiciously similar to Lily's.

"I can't believe we're already starting school," groaned Christine and hit her head repeatedly on the wooden table.

"Well I'm just glad to be at Hogwarts and have summer done with," responded Lily

"Aw Lils, we know you're still upset about Petunia and everything but at least pretend to be happy for Christine's sake. She's already miserable enough just thinking of the loads of homework we'll be getting…" said Anna

"You just had to remind me, huh," said Christine as she resumed her head banging.

"Sirius! James! I told you not to pull any pranks today, you were supposed to wait until at least after lunch before ignoring me." said Remus in an exhausted tone.

"Whadayaean?" asked Sirius through a mouth of pancakes.

"Huh?" said James then followed Remus' gaze, "we didn't do anything yet Moony! We were holding back on that particular prank until October. Our schedule's all full before then you see."

"So what happened to her?" asked Remus.

Lily interrupted "don't worry Remus, or should I say Moony?" she asked glancing suspicious glances at the boys who shifted uncomfortably before continuing, "She's just stressed about school."

Now it was Sirius' turn to look dumfounded. "School hasn't even started, at least not for the next 10 minutes."

"AH! Only 600 seconds of freedom left!" murmured Christine as she stopped hitting her head and began staring at the head table as if Dumbledore would suddenly announce that school was a mistake and wouldn't start for another week.

Sirius watched her with an amused expression on his face, this with the fact that he was still working his way through his plate of pancakes made an interesting combination.

Peter suddenly showed life by grabbing a piece of cheese and holding it firmly watching everyone suspiciously before sighing and beginning to nibble.

Anna raised her eyebrows at this. Lily did to, and they promptly began laughing. Soon they were laughing extremely hard; this was helped by the bewildered expressions on their friend's faces.

A mixture of emotions was surging out of Lily in the form of a laugh. There was the lingering sadness and disappointment from her summer, the funniness of the situation, the happiness of seeing her friends, and the dread of transfiguration homework. After she had finished laughing her head off, she excused herself from the table. Lily ran up to her room, hoping no one would notice the tears in her eyes.

Now everyone was confused, especially Sirius who had just found a cheesy glob in his hair.

It was charms, Lily's first lesson of the day and her favorite class.

Professor Flitwick was welcoming everyone and collecting the summer assignment.

Sirius was already bored. He had been in class for exactly 2 minutes and 38 seconds, most of which had been spent writing notes. Yes, Sirius was passing notes, after less than 3 minutes of a school day. He quickly tossed one it to Remus as Flitwick turned around. It read:

_**I'm bored.**_

Remus wrote back:

_It's only been 3 minutes and 57 seconds since class started! But then again I could have guessed this would happen._

He tossed it to Peter who wrote:

_I win! I betted 5 galleons that it would take you less than 5 minutes! Take that James! And you too Remus!_

_Peter you did win against me because I chose to give Sirius benefit of the doubt and said less than 10 minutes. However it's James who'll be collecting Galleons because he said less than 1 minute, and Sirius got bored about 40 seconds in. _

_**Ah, you know me much to well.**_

This time the parchment was thrown onto James' desk.

Unfortunately James was not much of a morning person and was at the moment staring at the portrait of Mnemone Radford (who developed the memory modifying charm). He was staring so hard that Mnemone had gotten uncomfortable and left after giving him a series of scared, annoyed, flattered and angry looks. He didn't even notice in his trance.

Sirius quickly fixed this by shooting a stinging hex under his desk discreetly.

The hex hit James' toe. And a couple well chosen words escaped James' mouth. Upon discovering that everyone was staring him either in amusement (Sirius), shock (Flitwick), annoyance (Lily) or total confusion (everyone else) James quickly muttered an apology.

After everyone had turned around to listen to the lecture about something or another James shot Sirius a look. Then he noticed the parchment on his desk which had caused the toe pain and embarrassment.

_**I can't believe you did all that Sirius, for some stupid note! Wait… I won the bet! Yes! That's 5 galleons from you Peter, and you Remus! **_

_Sirius, I think that you did something completely…_

_**Hilarious! You should have seen the look on your face James!**_

_It was very funny. How's the toe?_

_I don't think the toe is what's on James' mind right now…_

_**You're absolutely right Moony, right now I'm thinking about **__**3**__** 2 very important things, how to get back at Padfoot and spending my newly earned galleons.**_

_**I'm not sure that's all Prongs… noticed that crossed out **__**3**__**Remus?**_

James blushed, and tried to scribble out the 3 all the way, but Sirius grabbed it from him and handed it back to Remus.

_Naturally, I think that Wormtail will be able to guess (in 3 guesses) what the third thing is..._

_Of course I can! Ummm… the prank? No you already said that… the bet? No you already said that…_

_**Which leaves…**_

_Cheese?_

_**HAHAHAHAHA! That was a good one Wormtail. Now seriously, I think that James needs to get his mind off of Lily, and I have the perfect thing!**_

_Oh no, Sirius I think that James is perfectly content with daydreaming about Lily and doesn't need a distraction, particularly an unnecessary, ostentatious, and… distracting distraction._

_**Are there any other kind? Except for full moons of course, which reminds me Moony, one is coming up in 2 weeks. Anyways back to the subject of distracting distractions…**_

_**You're right Sirius a welcome-back-to-Hogwarts prank is perfect! But what plan will we concoct this time?**_

_What if we transfigure all the Slytherins?_

_**No, we did that last year right after our OWLS.**_

_It was a little to flashy I think._

_**Well you're lucky I'm doing the planning on this one…**_

_**I've got it. It involves some of our favorite things, broomsticks, Black, black, and butterbeer!**_

_You put 2 blacks Prongs!_

_Wormtail, 'Black' was for Padfoot; the other 'black' was for something I'm not too sure I'll like…_

_**I'll get the 'Black'. Everyone will get their broomstick, Wormtail and I will take care of the butterbeer**__**and Prongs will get the 'black' since no one else gets that part.**_

_Does this mean you and I will get the butterbeer or you'll send me to get the butter beer?_

_**Wormtail, poor Wormtail, I unfortunately will not be able to goon a jaunt to the 3 broomsticks today because I have a study date with… **_

_Admit it, you forgot her name._

_**No, it's, ummm…**_

_Why do you need to study already? It's the first day of the term._

_Poor Wormtail, he really doesn't get it. Poor Elizabeth too, she fell for Padfoot's trick._

_**More likely fell for my handsomeness and charm!**_

_**I don't think so…I think you might want to cancel the study date Padfoot. She's very…much like 'your precious Kitty.'**_

_**Extremely empty-headed? Well… have you seen her luscious golden hair… or heard her sweet voice…**_

_No. And you haven't either. Elizabeth has black hair, and a low-toned voice._

_**Translation: Elizabeth is hot. Her voice is like a toad. She is brain-dead and it hurt your ears when she talks. Trust me Padfoot, cancel.**_

_**Alright mate, maybe I'll take Sarah instead.**_

_**Bad move, her nose is too pointy, wouldn't be good for your image. I think you should go for a Gryffindor; there are some pretty 5**__**th**__** and 6**__**th**__** years.**_

_**What do you think of Christine? I know she's Lily's friend but she is quite attractive, and I don't think I'll forget her name…**_

_**Christine? Next Remus will be telling me that he likes smart girls like Lily's friend Anna and Peter will be warming up to Alice Longbottom!**_

Remus' face colored slightly

_You know, there's more to girls then their noses._

_Of course! You have to look at their hair and their eyes, and their_

Remus rolled his eyes.

_**Sorry I grabbed the paper from you Wormtail, but this is an emergency, I think that I'll tell Elizabeth I got hit with a bludger at quidditch.**_

_Quidditch practice hasn't started yet._

_**Then maybe I'll…**_

_**Just don't go. That's best for the situation. She'll get mad at you so she won't try talking to you or anything because she'll think you purposely didn't go… which is true in this case.**_

_**You're a genius! It's perfect. Luckily she's in Hufflepuff and won't see me in the common room. It's brilliant! Thanks Prongs, I owe you one.**_

_**No you owe me two, counting the stinging hex.**_

_**Well at least I didn't do anything really embarrassing, like saying something to Lily…**_

At this point James, who was indeed blushing, accidentally knocked the parchment off of his desk while trying to communicate to a very entertained Sirius that if Sirius dared to say something to Lily there would be serious consequences.

Lily noticed a very red-faced James pretending to strangle Peter while looking pointedly at Sirius, who was in turn laughing. She also saw a piece of parchment flutter onto the floor. Lily picked it up and silently began to read on her way back to her seat.

Sirius saw Lily and a look of horror passed over his face. He quickly made a grabbing motion at James who didn't understand. Flitwick looked their way, and all of the Marauders had to act like good students until he turned away. Then Remus told James what had happened. James face became very pale and all 4 boys tried to remember exactly what they had written.

Flitwick dismissed the class soon after, but apparently not soon enough. Anna, Lily and Christine were whispering and laughing while they collected their books and quills. The boys noticed that Lily was sliding the parchment into her bag as well as the other stuff.

The marauders stayed 3 steps behind the girls in the corridors. Then Sirius winked, and walked up behind Lily. He slid one arm over her shoulder and with the other began reaching for the piece of parchment sticking out of Lily's bag.

"Padfoot! I thought you had a thing for Christine?"

He smiled and replied "Ah, but Lily flower you know that I've always secretly loved you."

"Well I'm dreadfully sorry, but I seem to be immune to your handsomeness and charm"

Sirius laughed and pulled Lily closer towards him. This meant that now one arm (with the book bag on its shoulder) was now tightly wedged between them and Sirius would have an easier time grabbing the paper.

Lily reacted to this as could only be expected; she whirled around freeing herself of his grip.

"I'm not a quaffle!" she exclaimed.

He bowed to her and said "I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable my dear Lily," as he straightened her expression softened, until he snatched the parchment from her.

She looked at him in a mixture of shock and amusement, unexpected considering that everyone had been expecting her to get angry at him and start hexing. He turned to the marauders looking triumphant and pleased with himself.

Remus frowned at him, and then took the parchment from him. He looked at it and started to laugh.

Sirius and James looked very confused, especially when Remus ripped the piece into 4 neat pieces and handed one to each marauder.

Then they understood. Lily had read the parchment. She knew that it would drive them crazy and they would want it back, so she made sure they were watching her while she slid a piece into her bag. It was a piece, but not the piece. Lily and her friends had written to each marauder.

Remus' piece was from Lily, it said:

**Remus, I mean 'Moony', I had no idea that you took part in such immature activities as note-passing. What's this about the full moon? Is it code for something? I hope it has nothing to do with Anna, Christine and me. I appreciate your efforts to keep the other boys from breaking rules and playing pranks. Thanks for defending us girls too... that was sweet of you to say that we weren't just noses.**

Sirius' parchment was from Anna, it was short and to the point:

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **

**Only the first day of school and irresistible Sirius has a study date! With an air headed Hufflepuff!**

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**That prank better have nothing to with us…**

James' was from Christine,

**James, James, James. What will we do with you, lovesick puppy that you are? Luckily Sirius didn't have to tell Lily anything, she read it all.**

**P.S. We all loved your dumping strategy.**

Peter's was written by Christine too.

**You deserve having to get the butterbeers! Girls are MUCH MORE then noses and hair!**

Sirius grabbed Remus' slip and read it.

"I appreciate? Thanks? That was sweet of you! How come you got a nice one?"

Next he snatched James', and started laughing over 'lovesick puppy'.

It was transfiguration, the second class of the day. James' favorite. Lily and James were always very competitive about being the best in there. Unfortunately for James, Lily had already one today's battle.

And Sirius was bored again.


	4. Pranks, Flobberworm Mucus and Classes

It was 3:00 in the morning, and the marauders were busy with their new prank

It was 3:00 in the morning, and the marauders were busy with their new prank. Sirius was at the moment hovering near the north tower.

Peter was pouring flobberworm mucus on the torches in the dungeon.

James was at the greenhouses.

Remus had been dragged into it and was now outside the hospital wing windows on his broomstick.

Lily, Anna, Christine, and everyone else, were sleeping.

It was now 4:00 in the morning.

"To the completion of yet another prank by the marauders!" Sirius said as he raised his bottle of butterbeer. Remus and James followed suite. Peter, however, was snoring quite loudly from the front steps.

The boys finished drinking, grabbed their things and ran back up to the Gryffindor dorm rooms.

It was now exactly 6:00 in the morning. Lily's magic alarm clock rang. She yawned and opened her eyes. She panicked and looked around, when she caught sight of the window she moaned, another original marauder prank for sure.

It was now 6:30 in the morning. Sirius was up and excited. He was practically bouncing of the walls. Remus was tired but awake. Even Peter was nibbling some cheese. James was snoring at 6:30 but when the clock struck 6:31 Sirius took action. Water was sprayed, pillows were sent flying, gongs were banged and leftover flobberworm mucus was poured. So at exactly 6:32 James was awake and chasing a laughing Sirius all around the room.

Sirius ran to the door and down the stairs to the common room. James chased after him, thinking of nothing but strangling Sirius. Everyone in the common room watched the next events take place.

-Sirius dove behind a couch. James chased him.

-Sirius leaped over a couple 2nd years, James ran through their little group.

-Sirius stopped to ask a 5th year to Hogsmede and while she giggled James jumped onto Sirius' back.

-Sirius screamed (In a very manly way of course).

-James eventually lost his grip (this was helped along by the slobbery flobberworm mucus, and Remus) and fell on the floor.

-Sirius fled out of the portrait hole, stopping only to wink at a group of fans.

-James realized that almost all of the girls were giggling and whispering.

-James rolled over and looked up. He saw Lily staring down at him from a couch while Christine and Anna muffled their laughter.

-Finally James saw Lily smile. Then Lily laughed.

-After the fit of laughter subsided she said "James, thank-you for that marvelous performance, though I think adding some school robes wouldn't have hurt."

-James then realized that he was still in his pajamas. The red ones covered in little golden snitches, and now in flobberworm mucus.

-James blushes and headed up the stairs, head hanging in defeat.

-Unfortunately because of the prank it was rather hard to see the stairs and James ended up hitting his toe against the wall, the same toe that had been hit with a stinging hex the day before.

At exactly 7:00 the marauders came down to breakfast and were immediately reprimanded by their transfiguration teacher.

"What were you thinking? Painting all the windows black! On the second day of school! I am appalled at your behavior. Boys, I expected better from you you're in the 6th year for goodness sake, and you Remus, you're a prefect, why didn't you try and stop them? 50 points from Gryffindor, for each of you." McGonagall shouted at them

With the last comment the Gryffindors groaned and the Slytherins smirked.

Most classes had to be held outside in the courtyard. Potions was one of the canceled classes because one can't teach in a dungeon without torches and flobberworm mucus had quite an effect on burning torches.

Potions couldn't be held for the next 2 days, until finally the teachers solved this particular problem. The dungeons were still rank for the next month.

The marauders considered the prank a success and had gotten a lot of good feedback from students, particularly ones that were failing potions.


	5. Breakfast and Dinner

It was the day before Halloween

It was the day before Halloween. For the last couple of weeks the marauders had been busy, with what no one knew for sure. They had kept to themselves a lot lately and that had drawn a lot of attention.

Now the school was filled with quite whispers and rumors. Some people said they were planning the big one, the prank that would shame all other pranks, others said, unconvincingly, that they had finally turned over a new leaf and become model students.

Few said that it was a good thing, because most people were highly entertained by the pranks. Hardly any girls liked this development because this meant that there was less time for Sirius to sign their bags with lipsticks and for James to wink and smile at them.

"We're finally done!" said Sirius excitedly.

"Wow. That took a lot of work!" said Peter

"It was defiantly worth it though." added James.

Then they all stared in awe at what they had decided to call the Marauders Map.

"It's perfect…" said Remus, "Except for the last protective charm, that will insult anyone who tries to read it without knowing the password." He finished.

"Alright Moony, you can take care of that while me and Sirius get ready for the Halloween prank." Said James

"What do you mean? I thought we didn't have any pranks coming up?" said Peter.

"Well… it's Halloween, the students deserve a treat after working for so many prankless months."

"Good thinking Prongs! I had a great idea, here it is… how about we… dye all the teachers hair pink!"

James yawned and said, "Sorry Padfoot, but we need something totally original…"

"Like turning the students' heads into pumpkins?"

"Even better…"

"What could be better than pumpkin-headed Slytherins?"

"Fine we'll use the pumpkins, but let's add onto that idea…"

"I don't get it." Peter interrupted.

"Don't worry, you will soon enough, I have to go and talk to Hagrid, I'll be back soon." Replied James.

It was after dinnertime in the Great Hall.

4 blondes, and 2 brunettes were arguing about whether James or Sirius was the hottest. One of them was firmly convinced that neither was, and Amos Diggory was clearly then winner. Finally she was persuaded by the Sirius supporters that the way he pushed back his hair from his eyes made him more adorable.

They were sitting right next to Lily, Christine, and Anna.

Remus was also a fairly good friend of Lily's and was sitting next to her. They were discussing protective charms, and their homework. However they quickly got sidetracked and started telling funny stories and more personal things.

"So he was lecturing about dragons that day, and covering the really basic stuff. Lily then told her about Alice and Frank going out and she jumped up and yelled 'You've got to be kidding me! That's more fantastic than mini ice cream flavored lipglosses!' the Proffessor looked her way and said, 'Is there something wrong Christine?' Her face was bright red and she quickly said that 'I didn't know that dragons could fly until now. It's great cause… ummm… they can escape all of the things chasing them and like flying ostriches and stuff'."

Remus was paying more attention to Anna then the story she was telling but no one but Lily noticed this.

At that point the marauders came and sat beside Remus.

"So you finished yet?" asked Sirius as he grabbed a sandwich from a platter

Remus pointed to his untouched dinner plate.

"Imentemap." Sirius managed to say with a mouth full of sandwichy stuff.

"Not yet. Lily was telling me about protective charms, and I found one that we can use."

Lily just raised her eyebrow.

The 4 blondes and 2 brunettes were getting even louder. Now the table conversation sounded like this;

"Have you ever looked into those dreamy brown eyes with strategic and very hot golden flecks?"

"What's this about you needing protective charms?"

"And everyone in the class started laughing, giggling, guffawing, and whatever else they were doing. Then the professor-"

"Sirius is way hotter!"

"Wow, I can agree with that. Ha! Prongs.According to them I'm hotter!"

"So Christine, did you see the concoction that Alice made in potions?"

"Everyone knows Alice only passes potions because you help her out Lily."

"So Lils, have you missed me?"

"Have you seen him playing Quidditch? He puts the 'hot' in 'hot'."

"Sirius' hair is so much adorable, and the pranks they both pull…"

"I bet James makes up most of the pranks!"

"I resent that! Prongs and me make up the same amount right Wormtail? Moony?"

"And it turns out that Alice and Frank were at that moment holding hands in the back of the classroom, Alice turned as red as a Chinese Fireball."

"Well, James is a seeker, that's much more important then a beater!"

"hear that Padfoot?"

"WHAT! I can't believe you just told Remus that story!"

"So Lily, would you like to go to-"

"SIRIUS IS SO HOTTER!"

"TO HOGSMEDE, I HEARD THERE'S A TRIP-"

"NO WAY! JAMES POTTER IS HOTTER!"

"TOMORROW!"

"Sonorous, EVERYBODY QUIET!" yelled some random Gryffindor who was getting a headache.

The Great Hall was absolutely silent. Then someone started laughing. It was Sirius. Lily tossed her Yorshire pudding at him, and it was silent again.

Then the chatter resumed.

Sirius just looked at his hair in pudding-filled hair in shock, then at Lily appaled. Over and over again.

"That pudding is almost as bad as the cheesy glob I found in my hair a couple weeks back…"

The 4 blondes and 2 brunettes were looking at Lily in a very shocked way. Finally one of them called a vote. Now the marauders, Lily, Christine and Anna were watching them either with disgust or interest.

Sirius got 3 votes, James got 3 votes. It was a tie.

"No way!" said James

"Redo! But first let me get the pudding out!" cried Sirius as he vanished the pudding and shook out his hair. "Okay, now you can continue."

The 4 blondes and 2 brunettes voted again. James got 3. Sirius got 3.

"I know!" said Sirius, "You lovely ladies (Lily, Christine and Anna) can be the deciding votes!"

"Brilliant!" said James, "although I should have won the first vote 6-0."

Christine said "Obviously I have to go for Sirius."

"WHAT?" yelled James.

"YES!" cried Sirius.

Christine continued, "he has the whole 'I'm hot without trying' kind of thing going. Both of you do actually, but Sirius' hair makes him slightly more…hot, I guess"

Anna said, "I don't think that either of you are the hottest boys at school but if I had to choose one of you it would probably be James."

"HA!"

"NO!"

Lily remained silent. After being bothered by everyone around her she said, "I don't go by looks."

Everyone looked at her with daggers in their eyes, and started telling her that she had to vote. Finally Lily let in. She turned to James and Sirius and asked, "What do you look for in a girl?"

Sirius answered "well specifically I look for pretty eyes, luscious hair-" he stopped when he saw Lily's frown and then finished with "The most important thing is her personality, and her brains… and confidence…and funniness?"

Lily looked over at James he said "I don't know, I look for… umm… well I used to look for hotness level but haven't ever since…" he paused and then finished quietly, "I started liking you."

Lily then announced the winner, "For answering with the least sucking-up I announce Sirius Black the winner."

Sirius shouted "YES! I AM SMOKIN'!" while dancing his way out of the Great Hall.

James sighed.

Lily wondered.

Christine stared.

Anna thought.

Remus frowned.

Alice came in looking flustered, "sorry I'm late but I forgot something in the common room, and then ran into a singing Sirius Black in the entrance hall who swung me around and shouted "I'M HOT!". Which was really weird… does anyone want to explain?"

Peter nibbled.


	6. Hogsmede, Pumpkins, and Butterbeer

James sighed

James sighed. It was Halloween.

Sirius jumped out of bed. It was Halloween!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

What sounded like hundreds of students simultaneously screamed and ran around. It was Halloween. And they had woken up with pumpkin heads.

"Don't you just love the cries of enjoyment coming from an appreciative public?" Sirius took a bow. "It was quite ingenious, putting the potion into their evening pumpkin juice. Almost ironic! MUHAHAHA!" he rubbed his hands together and grinned evilly.

The marauders made there way to the common room.

Alice was shrieking exceptionally loud and running around one of the armchairs. Frank heard her and ran down the curving staircase. In his 6th year and still having not memorized the common room layout Frank followed Alice's screams. Unfortunately Alice was moving and she was below him. He kept walking straight ahead, tripped over a low row of stair banisters and fell. His pumpkin head didn't crack open, but rather bounced. And so Frank was bouncing around the Gryffindor common room and Alice was in hysterics when Lily entered the scene.

With a couple waves and incantations Lily had managed to return almost all of the gryffindors back to normal. She kept missing Frank's head though as he was now bouncing off the floor, walls and ceiling gaining velocity with each thump.

James was sitting and laughing at Frank, as well admiring Lily's transfiguration and her hair. Until she came over to him that is, her face now perfectly matching her hair color.

"POTTER!" Lily shouted. Then she stopped herself and sat down on the other end of his couch. From there she erupted into a fit of giggles as she watched the next events fold out.

LIST OF EVENTS FROM COUCH-TO BREAKFAST

-Alice chased Frank everywhere.

-Sirius kept giving more and more people pumpkin heads…

-Whenever Christine returned her head back to normal, Sirius was there to mess it up again.

-Frank started a fad and all the students started bouncing.

-Anna was whacked repeatedly by these students on her way out.

-Sirius opened the common room entrance and released about 20 pumpkin-headed and bouncing students (including a miserable Frank) on the school.

-Other students came running out o see the fun.

-Sirius transfigured their heads too, until Christine simply got so fed up that she made Sirius' head into an eggplant.

-Christine laughed.

-The commotion died down when McGonagall interrupted the fun.

-Everyone went down to breakfast.

-Lily 'forgot' to tell Christine that her face was orange and her hair green.

After breakfast the older students shuffled of to Hogsmede while the younger ones watched wistfully from the castle windows.

Lily, Anna and Christine were walking through Hogsmede. They stopped occasionally at dress emporiums, jewelry stores, book stores and of course Honeydukes.

All of the girls had bought a stash of candies and were all eating theirs as they walked up the street.

As Lily was chewing one of her licorice wands she spotted a bright pink book. It was in a small shabby bookshop and stood out a lot. Stacks of the bright pinks books were crammed into the window display. Lily wondered what it was and dragged her friends inside. Anna took one look at it and snorted. "'Making Fools Fall in Love,' ingenious title for a book, I wonder what it's about"? Lily laughed and started flipping through a book about alchemy. She decided that it was too boring and headed out the door after buying a couple recent copies of _Witch Weekly_ and _Enchantress_.

She looked back and saw Christine reading the pink book intensely. She laughed and ran back inside.

"What fool do you want to fall in love with you?" she asked grabbing the book.

Christine had skimmed the first chapter about the basics and had moved onto _The art of Simple Flirtation_. Christine blushed and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "Sirius Black."

Lily staggered out of the bookstore and fainted on the snow.

James was leaving Zonko's when he saw Lily fall. He dropped his bag and started rushing forward, she was too far…

Anna rushed out of the store and moved to Lily's side. Christine threw a galleon at the store owner and followed carrying the pink book.

Lily opened her eyes. She grinned and laughed. Then she stood up shaking the snow out of her hair. She saw the pink book and said "I 'fainted', and you still considered the book before me? You must be in love!"

James saw Christine and Anna coming to Lily but kept running.

Sirius shouted something incomprehensible.

Lily shook the snow off her pants, picked up the book and her bags of candy among other things in one motion. She waved the book and ran teasingly from Christine.

James was almost there. He saw her running away from something. He put on a burst of speed and grabbed her while continuing his run.

Lily screamed as she felt that she was being picked up and carried off. Then she saw panicked eyes obscured by glasses and dark messy hair. Lily smacked James' face with the book.

James fell onto the snow. He saw a blur of red hair, a pink book and the white snow.

Anna came up carrying a limping Christine. Apparently James had been in such a rush he had shoved her out of his way, she had tripped on Anna, fallen, chased James shouting threats, and then gotten a stitch from laughing so hard.

"I knew the book would come in useful," Christine grinned.

James got up and tried to locate his glasses. He finally found them dangling off the end of his nose. He saw Lily above him and for a moment smiled, she was safe. And he was oblivious of the fact that he had made a fool of himself.

Lily said calmly, "Next time you wish to sweep me off my feet Potter, I hope for your sake, that you stick to the figurative sense.

James looked around and realized that he acted like an idiot when he saw Sirius literally rolling in the snow, and Christine kneeling on the icy ground laughing and clutch9ing her side.

Anna suppressed a grin and asked Lily is she was okay.

Lily replied, "I've never been better."

Then Sirius, Remus and Peter came over. Sirius was still in a fit of silent laughter and pointing at James. He had a wild look in his eyes. Remus asked the girls if they'd like to go to the Three Broomsticks.

Surprisingly the girls accepted and walked back through the village. James was still embarrassed and fell behind the others.

As soon as they walked in they felt warmer. The atmosphere was warm and filled with cheerful chatter. As they spotted a table and began to head over there someone called Christine's name. She turned to find Evan Davies, the Ravenclaw quiddich team captain, who was also among the cutest 6th and 7th year boys. She smiled at Lily and Anna, who just nodded, and then went off to sit with him and his friends.

Lily and Anna walked over to a table in the corner, which a group of Hufflepuff quiddich players were leaving. They stood behind them while they picked up their bags. Cedric Diggory flashed Lily a toothy grin and asked her for a word. He motioned for her to come with him.

The others had just sat down and ordered butterbeers when she came back. James was throwing murderous stares in Cedric's direction, but no one noticed. The table was obscured by an awkward silence. Not even Sirius was talking, he was watching the Ravenclaws.

Lily sat down and giggle-whispered something to Anna. Anna smiled. James frowned.

Then Lily turned to everyone else and easily began a conversation about Quiddich. She liked to watch it sometimes and even used to play with her friends. She laughed and told them about the time she had gone to Anna's for a week and had tried to fly on a muggle broomstick since no one had explained there was a difference. By the time she had finished the tension at the table had disappeared and everyone was having a good time.

At one point James went to order more butterbeers and Remus excused himself from the table as well. He said, "See how she doesn't hate you when you're not acting stupid?"

"Well that's a great way to put it."

"It's true, she hasn't said anything rude in the past half hour."

"Yeah…"

"You see James, if you just would act normal everything would be fine and you and Lily could be friends."

"I try it's just…"

That was the end of the conversation because Sirius disputed the entire crowd by leaping into an imitation of Merlin's Teapot, a new and very popular band. He was singing their song, 'Veritaserum'. James couldn't miss out and soon was right along side his best friends as they made disastrous attempts to copy the groups dance moves.

After they knocked over the Ravenclaw table they settled down a little. Christine just so happened to be sitting at that table with Evan, who's butterbeer ended up on her lap. He quickly vanished the stain and asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else with him, like to Honeydukes, or something. She agreed. First she went to Lily and Anna to tell them she was leaving, and then she walked out.

Sirius was slumped over the table, and almost knocked over Lily's empty bottle. She grabbed one of the bottles James had tossed over before demonstrating no dancing skills whatsoever and popped it open. She put her bag over her shoulder and said she had to go now, since Professor Binns had assigned 2 rolls of parchment about the involvement of vampires in wizard affairs.

She walked out into the snow, sipping from her bottle. Remus looked over at James who jumped up from the table and ran to the door.

Maybe it was the conversation with Remus, maybe it was the hopelessness, maybe it was the butterbeer, but in any case he called out after her.

"Lily wait!"

She turned around and saw who it was. Suddenly she became defensive. She looked at him suspiciously.

He said, "I just… I was wondering…if you…" he saw her expression change from suspicious to annoyed. "If you… were cold? Cause I noticed you didn't bring your cloak…and I…"

She cocked her head to the side.

"Umm…" With that graceful departing line James turned back and entered the 3 broomsticks.

Remus looked at him expectantly. "So?"

Anna looked suspicious. Then she noticed that the boys wanted to talk about some boy-related thing and decided it was time to go. She grabbed her bags and with a hasty good-bye to Remus ran to catch up with Lily.

"I dunno." Said James.

"What do you mean?" asked Remus

"Well she makes me feel like I'm wasting her time and I…"

"Listen James, you're never going to get a date with Lily Evans if you're acting like a lovesick fool."

"I know… I'll try."

"Good, because I think that if she got to know you she might actually… not hate you."


	7. Exploding Pumpkins and Affections

It was Halloween night

It was Halloween night.

Lily had written in her diary earlier that day and was very careful to stash it away inside the empty binding of a History of Magic textbook. Where no one would find it. This was necessary because her diary had been a present for a 7 year old Lily Evans, and was unfortunately a vivid pink.

_Oh my goodness! It's Halloween! Went to Hogsmede with the girls. Unfortunately Christine started ogling this book, and James tried to abduct me._

_What a fool that James Potter is. He honestly thinks that I'll go out with him if he pretends to be in love with me. It's just that big fat ego of his. I say "no," that one time and he chases after me like a dog trying to get a bone. _

_He is quite handsome tough…it's too bad his personality is worse than a toad…_

_I think that Remus might just like Anna. She's to shy to notice but I can't help wondering if he'll work up the guts to ask her out if he does. Like her that is._

_Christine and SIRIUS!! AHHH! Christine likes Sirius. O.M.G. That's hilarious! And Sirius did mention her in that note…omgsh it would be so random if they liked eachother. I bet Sirius only like her for her hair, and whatevs._

_I'm feeling guilty. I borrowed Christine's earrings without asking (yes, okay I stole them, but only temporarily!) When we went to Hogsmede…thankfully she didn't notice! _

All of the students filed into the great hall and were speechless.

The enchanted ceiling showed millions of stars. Gigantic pumpkins were hovering above the tables. As soon as everyone sat down and started to tuck in James signaled to Sirius and the pumpkins exploded. The ones over the Slytherins rained pumpkin goop. The ones over the Ravenclaws released thousands of bats. The ones over the Hufflepuffs let fly orange and black streamers and confetti. The ones over the Gryffindors roared and tiny flying, golden lions landed on the students. Lily was enchanted. The lion that had fallen on her was absolutely amazing. She even let in eat off of her plate.

After the meal and exquisite pumpkin pie everyone trudged off to the dormitories filled to the brim with delicacies.

James, Sirius and the rest of the Marauders started a party in the Gryffindor common room.

The couches had been shoved off to the side, butterbeer was passed around, music was playing, and everyone was having a great time. A few stray lions were even flying around (most of them had disappeared because the spells weren't permanent).

Lily, Anna and Christine were sitting on one of the abandoned couches discussing earlier events, clothes, gossip, boys and all other general girlish topics.

Remus was trying to work up the guts to ask Anna to dance with him.

Sirius was doing a duet with James and they were showing off their latest tricks and being congratulated on the pumpkin prank.

Peter was nibbling on snacks.

All in all everything was great.

McGonagall then decided to interrupt at that moment. "I'm surprised. It's perfectly alright to be excited on Halloween, but a party? It's almost as loud as the one the Ravenclaws were having!"

Sirius protested, "Almost as loud?"

Everyone booed.

McGonagall gave them a stern look and directed everyone to go to bed. As soon as everyone was climbing the staircases she left.

As soon as she left, everyone reappeared.

"Let's show those Ravenclaws!" Sirius yelled.

"YAH!"

And so the Gryffindors partied so loudly that even when McGonagall came in 10 minutes later and shouted over the noise no one heard. She tried the sonorous charm to no avail. Finally when someone (most people suspect James or Sirius were guilty) handed her a bottle of butterbeer she lost it. There was a poof and suddenly there was a cloud. And it was raining inside the common room.

Everyone went to bed.

The next day students were raving on about the party. And most of the Gryffindors were doing detention.


	8. Boysenberries, Wolfsbane and Awkwardness

_Dear Diary,_

… _Since I haven't written in so long I think that I should just let you know what kind of stuff's been going on._

_Well it's November now. I've been really busy in all my classes and Slughorn is threatening a group project. No offense to Alice, but she's not the best at potions. I hope I'll end up with Christine and Anna. Remus would be okay too._

_Sniveli __Snape missed a week of school thanks to some mysterious condition, and was kept in the hospital wing. (rumor has it that his pumpkin head never went away and it just kept getting bigger and bigger until one day it exploded and then he was orange for a couple days… come to think of it he does look a tad orangish) _

_The marauders have been pulling small pranks on a regular basis, with the exception of Snape (pumpkin head) and the one with the howlers…_

_Things have been a lot more peaceful lately since James hasn't been so… so… Jamesish. I think he likes Olivia Nicolson from Ravenclaw._

_Us girls are gonna have a sleepover party Friday night for Anna's b-day! I can't wait!_

_-Lily_

WEDNESDAY

Lily walked into the Great Hall on Wednesday morning feeling cranky. She had only gotten 3 hours of sleep thanks to Proffessor Binn's essay on troll wars.

She yawned as she sat down next to Anna in the Great Hall.

"Hey Anna,"

"Hey sleepyhead, we had a killer time waking you up today. So what were you up to last night?"

Anna eyed Lily suspiciously.

"Well I had that essay about trolls... which reminds me do you spell it General Urgaar or Urugar?"

"Ummmmmmmmm…."

"Nevermind. I'm SO tired though."

"Uh oh."

"What do you mean?"

"Well everyone knows how cranky you get when you're tired."

"I do not get cranky!"

Anna just mumbled something and went back to munching on her toast. Lily gave her an exasperated look and then turned to grab some breakfast.

"Why isn't there any boysenberry jam?" asked Lily. "Every single morning there's a bowl of boysenberry jam. Look at this table. I see NO jam. Where did it go huh? Did some crazy boysenberry-loving troll just swoop in and demand it? NO. So… there should be BOYSENBERRY JAM. RIGHT HERE." She pointed to an empty spot on the table.

Anna said, "Ummm… you know Lily you could always use Apricot, here you go-"

"I want boysenberry jam! Is there something incomprehensible about that? Why is there none on the table? "

Just the the marauders marched into the Great Hall wearing smirks on their faces. They sat in their usual spot (beside the girls) and started a contest of who could eat the most Belgian waffles.

"URGH! I'm so sick of this! Who took my boysenberry jam!?"

The boys turned to face Lily for a moment, then went back to stuffing their faces with waffles.

Suddenly Lily leaned over and grabbed one from Sirius' plate.

"Look. This waffle has boysenberry jam on it. WHERE'S MY JAM? Huh? Where'd you put it?"

Sirius stared and Lily and in a panic tried to pull the incriminating waffle out of her hand. She wouldn't let go. Instead she shook him off and threw the waffle at his face.

"I WANT MY JAM, BLACK! AND YOU BETTER GIVE IT TO ME OR ELSE…"

Sirius, who was wiping jam off his nose, was about to make a breakaway when Lily grabbed the maple syrup and held it threateningly over Sirius' head.

"uh…Lily dear… please put the syrup down, it takes hours to get it out of my hair," Sirius begged.

Lily smiled mischeviously and started tipping the bottle.

"NO! Please! I… I… ummm… the jam! I'll tell you where the jam is!"

Lily looked at him "You'd better."

Sirius said "Well…" and pointed to James who was just shoving his sixth waffle into his mouth. A waffle covered in jam. Boysenberry jam. The last of the boysenberry jam.

"URGH! POTTER!"

"huh?"

"WHY BOYSENBERRY, HUH? YOU PURPOSELY TAKE MY JAM AWAY TO ANNOY ME?"

James remained silent under Lily's angry gaze. But when she started reaching for her wand James said, "Sorry. I didn't know you liked boysenberry jam. Sirius gave it to me. He knows it's me favourite! I just, I'm sorry. Please don't hex me!"

Lily looked at Sirius, sparks flying from her eyes. "Oh, you think this is funny Black?"

Christine jumped up and made a mad dash for the Hufflepuff table.

"Well I'll show you funny!"

Christine shoved aside several first and second years, frantically searching for jam. She dived across the table knocking a plate of sausages onto an unsuspecting blonde 6th year. As she reached for the dark jam she knocked over a plethora of breakfast foods, including scrambled eggs, pancakes, and of course, oatmeal.

"Confring- hey. Thanks Christine"

"You were going to explode me?" asked a shocked Sirius. "Over jam?"

Lily ignored him as she spooned some of the dark jam onto her toast.

"You're mad!" Sirius said. He slowly backed away and then made a dash for the door.

James then said, "Come on then boys. Let's follow Padfoot's example and run out like mad elephants." And they did.

5 MINUTES LATER

"THIS ISN'T BOYSENBERRY JAM! THIS IS CHERRY!"

Christine and Anna ran 'like mad elephants' out of the Great Hall. They were followed by what looked like ¾ of the school, including several Hufflepuffs with oatmeal dripping from their hair.

WEDNESDAY: POTIONS

"Good afternoon 6th years! Today we will be beginning our group projects, which you will be continuing over the next couple weeks. I advise you to choose your groups carefully, since you may have to spend some time out of class to complete the assignment," Slughorn told them, "There will be no specific guidelines, you should be able to come up with a fun, interesting and original topics."

The class looked at him with blank expressions.

"Alright then class!" Slughorn said excitedly clapping his hands, "Let's get to work!"

"Yes Mr…. ah…Snivel…no….Snape, is it? Yes, well then, What is it Mr.Snape?"

"Can we work alone?"

"No."

Christine and Lily high-fived eachother just as Sirius and James started a series of complicated hand shake maneuvers.

Anna, Christine and Lily started discussing project ideas.

Sirius turned to James looking dejected, Slughorn had just told him that conducting experiments on 1st years wasn't permitted.

Remus turned to Peter looking hopeless.

Then Lily looked over at Alice, who was sitting with Frank and smiling. Everyone knew that Frank was rather talented at potions, he was the 5th best in their class.

All in all it was going to be a typical group project.

That was… until Peter made something explode. He was covered in huge purple boils as he was carried off to the hospital wing.

Now Remus was partnerless.

Lily hinted that Anna should go over and work with him. Anna just blushed and refused. Lily shook her head and walked over.

"Hey Remus, need a partner?"

"Are you volunteering?"

Lily smiled and sat down in Peter's chair.

"Well I was thinking of a possible topic."

"Yeah, What is it Remus?"

"I think that it would be rather interesting if we did a full analysis of wor-"

"Ms Evans? Mr. Lupin?" Slughorn interrupted.

"Yes professor?"

"I hardly think it's fair that two of my brightest students are working together, would you mind being separated into different groups?"

Lily answered, "Oh that would be quite alright professor. I'll go work with Christine and Anna. Remus can join his other friends."

Slughorn winked, "I take it you haven't been listening to me for the last couple minutes Ms.Evans. It's quite alright, young love is rather distracting isn't it?"

Lily blushed and started to speak before she was interrupted again.

"I just announced that all groups will have to have 1 boy and 1 girl. Just to make things more interesting." He laughed and winked at them.

"Alright then… why doesn't Anna work with Remus?"

Remus paled and a lost looking Anna reddened. Slughorn congratulated Lily on her brilliance.

Lily looked over to find someone without a partner.

Christine was sitting next to a Gryffindor boy who was practically drooling.

Sirius was in a situation. He didn't really want to have to do any work… therefore he needed a smart partner.

"Lily?" he asked sweetly.

"What?" she replied suspiciously.

"Would you like to be my partner or are you still upset about that jam?" he laughed.

Lily looked embarrassed for a second but then fired back with "Oh, that reminds me. I owe you one Black."

Sirius, once again, backed away slowly.

Lily smiled at her victory. Then she paniced as she remembered her lack of a partner.

Sririus and James were having an argument.

"No you."

"NO. you."

"No, YOU!"

Finally they stopped and Sirius sat down next to an embarrassed looking girl with mop-like blonde hair.

"That's funny, I've never seen her before," thought Lily before the girl turned around and Lily saw that it was indeed James.

Sirius and James were quickly discovered by Slughorn and were forced to pair up with different classmates. James walked over to Christine with and attention to ask her to be his partner, before he noticed the drooling boy, who was now researching the properties of Wolfsbane.

Sirius quickly found himself being accosted by many girls.

"Hey Sarah."

"Hi Sirius" she managed to say before erupting into a fit of giggles and eyelash batting.

Sirius turned around and made gagging motions towards a laughing James.

Half the class was still wandering around lost.

"What is this?" asked Slughorn, "Fine, I suppose that I have no alternative but to assign groups.

"Lupin and Anna Forsythe,"

"Longbottom and Smith."

"Anyone else want to stay in their group?"

The drooling boy, Robert, raised his hand. Slughorn ignored him.

"Alright then, I'll match up the rest of you."

"Potter and Lestrange."

James gulped. Bellatrix groaned.

"Black and Snape."

Sirius started laughing uncontrollably.

"Evans and... Marshals"

Lily sighed, Robert smiled.

Slughorn continued, surprisingly most of the pairs actually turned out to be good.

"Any questions students?"

"Ummm…" James managed to say .

Slughorn saw that they were staring daggers at eachother and agreed to let them switch groups.

"Ummm…" Sirius squeezed in between his laughter.

"Ah, a good observation Mr.Black, I did say girl and boy did I not? Sorry Mr… Snape was it?"

After an entire hour of such commotion everyone finally had a partner. Except for 4 people.

"Black, you and Evans can work together. Potter, you can work with Ms. Montgomery"

As Slughorn saw the mischevious smile on Lily's face, and the horror that passed over Sirius'.

"NO! NO BLACK AND EVANS!"

WEDNESDAY EVENING

_Dear Diary,_

_My life is officially over. I have to work with Potter. POTTER. JAMES POTTER. _

_Pray for me,_

_Lily_

It was Tuesday night and the prefects were doing rounds.

Lily and Remus were going to tackle the East side of the castle together. Lily was looking forward to talk to him, since they hadn't conversed in a while.

For a while they wandered the corridors talking about school, Slughorn's project, the pranks on the school. Then they started telling fun stories and jokes. Lily had just told Remus a funny story about Anna, and after the laughter died down Remus admitted to liking Anna.

Lily smiled and tried to pretend she hadn't known, but Remus saw through her act. He asked her if Anna liked anyone. Lily teased him for a while, but then the conversation got even stranger.

"You know Lily,"

"Yes Remus?"

"I know that you think he's just another idiot trying to prove himself the ultimate ladies man, but I really think that you ought to… to give him a chance."

"Who?"

Remus looked at her confused before answering, "James."

"James Potter? Doesn't he like Olivia?"

"Lily, please- wait? What are you talking about?"

"He was flirting with Olivia in charms, actually that's a really funny story…"

"WHAT?!"

"What's wrong Remus?"

"I just… I… Olivia?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah…I just… OLIVIA?"

"I'll talk to you later Remus. I promise to put in a good word. 'Night" Lily yawned and walked into the common room.

Remus just stared dumbfounded for the next couple seconds.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT

James heard Remus come lumbering into their dorm room, but pertended to be asleep. He kept mumbling, "Olivia?" which made James slightly scared for his sanity.

Sirius was talking in his sleep "poka-dot monkeys… I… jam….NO…Kr…Steen?"

After Remus was also snoring James rolled over. Now he was facing the windowsill. He had managed to find another picture of Lily. This one looked the most angry, probably because he had stolen it from Lily's book. James sighed. The Lily's in the pictures either stared at his angrily or in a confused-upset manner. He sighed again and rolled onto his back. He had purposely not been bothering Lily, following Remus' advice, and yet… nothing. But, there was this group project… and maybe. Just maybe. Something… would James ever get Lily?


	9. FireBreathing Owls, and Worse, Girls

THUSDAY MORNING

Christine was late getting up for breakfast. She had slept in 15 minutes and then had spent 5 searching for her favorite hairbrush. After finally using Lily's and resolving to find her own, she made her way downstairs.

She was just walking in when a 6th year girl ran out screaming on the top her lungs. Her hair was on fire. Christine tried to help her, but she just kept running and screaming.

Christine turned back to the door and pulled it open. This time 3 screaming second years ran out.

She tried again. This time it was a third year that was missing his eyebrows, and a 7th year that was missing his robe, his shirt, and… that's right his pants were on fire.

Christine was really curious now, and opened the door again. This time a posse of 5th year girls ran out shrieking.

She ducked inside before anyone else could trample her.

Inside the Great Hall Christine saw commotion. Complete fracas. Owls were swooping, breathing fire on the students. The students were either running, screaming, sitting calmly, fighting the owls, or a combination of things.

Remus and Lily were heading the attack on the owls. They had all the prefects (except the ones who were on fire, or had left) on the tables shooting freezing charms. The teachers were all missing (Sirius had created a distraction in the form of a Sphinx sitting in front of the Transfiguration classroom.)

Christine suddenly saw a frozen owl falling out of the sky…

And then Christine was also on fire. She noticed that it wasn't even real fire. There were flames, but they weren't even hot, they weren't burning anything. All the fire was doing was adding some color, and erupting into magical sparks every couple minutes.

Christine laughed, especially when she saw that Lily's entire hair had erupted into purple flames.

THURSDAY: POTIONS

"I think that we could…" James said cautiously.

"Go on…" Lily said a bit impatiently.

"Make a comparison of the conflagrative and magical properties of several plants in relation to the Gorgentiusius Theorem. "

"I was thinking around the same lines! The Gorgentiusius Theorem, yes genius!"

"Huh?" said James stupidly, shocked because Lily might have just complemented him.

Lily just smiled at him and then started, "Well I suppose we'll have to use some aconite, belladonna, asphodel, or maybe some more rare plants like… gillyweed, and some screechsnap, Oh! Our project is going to be the best!" In a fit of excitement Lily jumped up and hugged James, before running off to ask Slughorn what the chances of procuring Gillyweed was.

James just stared at her shocked.

Because they had double potions Lily and James were able to hunt down some of the more mundane ingredients and start mixing a simple potion which would be used for preserving the plants at their prime stages of maturation.

Anna and Remus also started mixing, because they were starting the first step of 53 in the process of creating a special substance which they would later use to help with their full analysis of wolfsbane (The Marauders found it extremely ironic that Remus would be working with Wolfsbane.)

Christine wasn't having as much luck. Sirius was too busy to concentrate on something as unimportant as a school project. Fortunately she had managed to find something in the book they could use, after several suggestions (by Sirius) like making a better dungbomb, or better formulas for love potions, etc.

Sirius was having a hard time concentrating on the project, it was as if Christine's shampoo had magical powers to make people's brains drop right out of their heads.

After class Lily and Christine ran off with Anna. James, Remus and Sirius staring at them.

"I can't take this anymore!" exclaimed Sirius.

"I know what you mean mate." Sympathized James.

THURSDAY NIGHT

All of the marauders were in the common early. A sign that something was definitely strange.

James and Remus were in their third round of chess. Sirius was napping on the couch while 'doing homework' and Peter was mumbling to himself while he crossed out several phrases at a time on his transfiguration essay.

Suddenly James got up and hit Sirius on the head with a heavy volume.

"What's wrong with you Padfoot? 'Doing homework?' You're giving us Marauders a bad name!"

Sirius just rolled over.

Lily came in and sat down across from Remus, continuing James' abandoned game.

"Hey Remus." She said.

"Bishop to E5, hey Lily."

"Uh oh. Queen to E5!"

"Hey!"

"I think that's a checkmate Remus.

"Huh...but... uh… I LOST!"

"Yes Remus, you did. Now I have to talk to you about something important."

"Is it about Anna?"

"No. It's… well… It's about her surprise party."

"Huh?"

"Well tomorrow us girls are going to have a sleep over in the common room after everyone else goes to bed. I was wondering… since you are a Marauder… if you could help me with the food and drink situation."

"Oh. Okay then. Sure." Remus responded, then he called to James and Sirius, "Oi! Padfoo- I mean SIRIUS, JAMES! Are you up for a trip to… get food and drink?"

James looked at him funny, before realizing that Lily was there. "Oh! Sure, I'll go grab the map, you wake Sirius up."

Lily looked at the marauders in turn. "What…?"

James winked at her and ruffled his hair while going up the stairs.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Umm… Remus, I know that you and James are mates and all, but could you please hit him for me? Just once? Just for being such an egoistic, obnoxious-"

Remus refused but Sirius jumped up and announced it would be his great pleasure.

Lily continued "self-centered, worm-brained, quiddich player who thinks he's all that because he can catch a snitch and ruffle his hair. I don't care how good-looking all the girls think he is-"

"Might you be talking about m, good-looking as I am?" asked James from the top of the stairs.

Lily's blood boiled, and was about to answer when Sirius, sensing the danger, jumped up.

Sirius let out a wild war cry, "AIIIIIIOOOOIIIIIIIIIAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" as he charged James. He stopped just in front of the confused, good-looking quiddich player before punching him lightly on the arm.

Then he turned to Lily. "Are we even for the whole jam thing now?"

Lily replied, "Just about… there's only one thing left that you can do to make sure that we're even."

Sirius gulped.

Lily said, "I'll tell you in secret tomorrow."

James raised his eyebrows suggestively and Remus looked dead confused. He thought, "So James likes Lily, Lily likes Sirius, and Sirius likes… potatoes?"

Lily looked over at Remus, "Hey, don't forget about the food and drinks!"

He nodded. Lily smiled and walked up to the girl's dorm after saying goodnight.

Sirius and James looked at each other.

"Girls are completely mad. They're worse than those fire-breathing owls we let loose."


	10. Sirius, Sugar and Streamers

**DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling, etc. own the characters, settings, etc. with the exception of a few personas and a few of my own brilliant ideas ;)**

**A/N: GREETINGS! Oh my goodness… it has been AGES... *ashamed face***

**So… I had to reread this thing and a few clarifications are in order: **

**Sorry about the grammar and spelling mistakes, I'm too lazy to go and fix them all**

**I mean AMOS, not CEDRIC Diggory, sorry for that mistake**

**James is a CHASER, not SEEKER. My bad :( **

**Ummm… plot summary up to this point:**

**-James likes Lily**

**-Lily doesn't like James**

**-Christine admitted finding Sirius attractive**

**-Remus tries to help James out by telling him to be less stupid.**

**-Remus likes Anna**

**-Peter eats a lot**

**-The Marauders have pulled a few quite funny pranks (if you have any suggestions for more pranks, or anything for that matter, that you want to see in the story REVIEW!)**

**RIGHT NOW: The boys are getting supplies for Anna's surprise party as a favor for Lily**

**THANK YOU FOR ALL THE AMAZING REVIEWS…. I read every single one. Thanks for being amazing and coming back to my story **** this is my Christmas present to you. Hopefully I'll write another one before Christmas since this one's so short.**

**LOVE,**

**Jojo**

**P.S. I will most likely abandon Lily's diary, keep the Lily pictures from the end of chapter 1, and toss up the plot A LOT :) hehehe**

"AHHH!" James shouted as he suddenly fell.

"Hahahaha!" Sirius shouted as James fell, quite clumsily in Padfoot's opinion.

"Oh dear," Remus sighed, as he saw Sirius immaturely trip James, and thinking about the war scene that was about to take place.

They were in a tunnel on their way to Hogsmede to pick up the supplies for Anna's party.

"AHHH!" Sirius shouted as he was sucked into an abyss.

"HAHAHAHA!" James laughed as he unceremoniously dragged Sirius down.

"Oh dear," Remus sighed as he tripped over the two bodies in front of him.

Finally, the three boys (Peter had fallen asleep before the mission) got out of the tunnel.

Sirius punched James one last time and then said, "Listen men. This is it. This is the mission we came here to complete. The mission we WILL complete... no matter what it costs. This is what we signed up for. And now, let honor and glory be synonymous with our names forever more! ARRAGGHHHAAA!" He whispered, finishing with a barbaric cry.

"Okaaaayyy," James said slowly, widening his eyes. This is what we'll do, "I'll get the butterbeers-"

"Good thinking sergeant, you make the beansprout squadron proud," Sirius interrupted.

"Remus… what did you give him?" James demanded.

"Err… I found some chocolate and thought it might calm him down. I'm sorry; I know he isn't supposed to have sugar…" Remus said sheepishly.

"In any case, Remus, you'll get candy from Honeydukes-"James continued.

"Of course! Secret codes! I understand my fellows. The bumblebee stings only the bravest of bears. Grandma peels carrots in the kitchen while the fire takes down the young beavers of the river." Sirius said passionately, including various hand movements.

"No Sirius, that makes no sense. Grandma would be peeling zucchinis. Honestly… "James stopped when he saw how Remus was raising his eyebrow at him, "Err… well General Nutcase here can get decorations I suppose…" James said cautiously.

"BRILLIANT. And have no fear. They will never take me alive!" And Sirius ran off, grinning like a maniac. He quickly dodged out the door and hid behind the corner, sneaking glances at the street. Then he rolled through the leaves and dirt to the other side.

Remus shook his head disbelievingly.

15 MINUTES LATER

James was heading back from the Three Broomsticks, his bag full of butterbeers and a couple acorns he had found (for some reason he thought they would come in handy soon). His hands were chilly and he rubbed them for warmth. He walked past the shops, glancing at their windows. Something silver and glittering caught his eye. He stopped and looked closer. It was something shiny carved into the likeness of a noble deer. Intrigued, he walked in.

He quickly browsed rows and rows of figurines, amusing hats, collectable books, and some rare chocolate frog cards before turning to leave. Walking out, a necklace caught his eye. It was a nicely patterned thin gold chain with a small charm. He didn't quite see what it was, but didn't stop to look, otherwise he'd be late. So, he walked back out onto the street.

He regretted it exactly 4.8 seconds later. That's how long it took him to:

-see a man dressed in streamers and a banner running wildly down the street, screaming Christmas carols and laughing insanely.

-see Remus running after this man.

-realize that the psychopath was actually his best friend… he must have gotten his hands on a lot more sugar…. or maybe firewhiskey.

And it took him another 500 seconds to finally:

-catch and immobilize the psychopath by tackling him violently and using the banner to tie up his arms.

-throw his cloak over the still loudly singing boy

-cast a levitating charm on the thrashing body and a silencing charm to spare his poor ears.

-pick up all the supplies and start the trip back with Remus towing Sirius.

Lily checked the clock in the common room again and groaned. Those idiots were supposed to be back 15 minutes ago. They had probably gone and hurt themselves. And now she'd have to go find them, and save them from themselves. Oh, and the party would be ruined.

Lily checked the clock one more time. 17 minutes. She moved towards the portrait hole.

Suddenly the portrait flew open and banged into her violently, sending her flying to the ground. Everything went black.

"Lily! LILY EVANS! NO LILY! YOU CAN'T DIE!" James shouted at her.

"James, she's not dying, she's just... dazzled by your presence" Remus responded calmly.

"LILY SODDING POTTER, DON'T MAKE ME TAKE OUT MY WAND!" James said, shaking her shoulders frantically, making her head flop back and forth.

"OH no! Not the wand!" Remus laughed, "Look, she's already stirring; she'll be up in a minute… What did you just call her?"

"Lily. That's her name isn't it?" James covered up smoothly.

"Alright. If you say so." Remus said suppressing his laughter.

"I didn't say so, her parents did. And everyone thinks you're the smart one." James retorted.

This is what Lily woke up to...… a defiant James holding her shoulders rather tightly. And a Remus who was snorting with laughter. And she wore she saw a drooling unconscious Sirius' head poking out from under a cloak.

"Are you okay Lilikins?" James asked, worry evident in his voice.

"Urrr…. I think so?" Lily said cautiously. Her head was hurting even more from confusion at what she was seeing than with the bump she had gotten.

James pulled her from the ground and hugged her. She was too shocked and muddled to react and found herself not moving. Finally, James dragged the unresponsive girl onto a couch and sat next to her. He and Remus decided to leave Sirius on the ground.

James said, "Shhhh, it'll be alright Lily, why don't you just take a little nap for an hour or so? Me and Remus will get everything ready, you relax. Please Lily, just sleep."

Lily sighed, sleep sounded so good. There was something nagging at her mind, maybe she shouldn't listen to this voice telling her to rest. But it was such a nice deep voice, and she was so tired. She thought that maybe her head hurt, but she wasn't sure. Yes, a nap sounded lovely. But first she should thank the nice man.

James heard Lily croak something sounding like "Tatty—ankh, mmmiymshooosleeyyy... yuuu... nkkksyuu." He looked at Remus puzzled. Remus shrugged.

Lily closed her eyes and a soft sigh escaped her lips.

AN HOUR LATER

Lily's eyes fluttered open. She yawned gently and opened them fully.

The first thing she noticed was Sirius lying on the floor, with glittering streamers braided into some of his hair.

The second was another hand wrapped around hers… a hand belonging to the body she was leaning on. A body that belonged to a boy. A boy who was breathing slowly and deeply, a smile playing on the corner of his lips.

And the Hogsmede adventure ended in the same fashion that began.

"AHHHHH!" Lily screamed.

"Oh dear," James said when he awoke to her shout and horrified glare.


	11. Congas and Crow Mating Calls Part 1

Lily was in shock. Her mouth was gaping open and her eyes not blinking. What had just happened? It was like she had woken up in the arms of the boy she used to hate so much… "used to" hate, where did that come from. First there was a stupid dream of her with James and then she woke up with him? That couldn't happen. It just couldn't. There must be some law of coincidence forbidding it.

AHA! This was just a continuation of the dream. That explained the glittery octopus on the floor.

SMACK!

James watched as Lily smacked herself in the face. Repeatedly.

SMACK! SMACK! "Ow! SMACK! SMACK! "Ow!"

"Errr… Lily?" he asked cautiously, stretching his arm and gently resting a hand on her elbow.

She looked at it in shock. Then at him. Then at the hand. She moved back, as if repulsed by it. Unfortunately, while stepping backwards she tripped over Sirius. And waking Sirius up is never a good idea.

"!" Sirius screamed as a girl fell on top of him and rainbow streamers swirled in the breeze her fall created.

This was a familiar vision from one of his dreams. Next the bunny conga line would come out with Dumbledore leading them while Sirius headed off the band with his extreme maraca skills, later, he would Tango with McG herself.

5 MINUTES LATER

James wasn't really sure what had happened. This was just so random… so he created a mental list of events to explain the outcome.

Lily runs away from him (as if things weren't bad enough between them)

She trips over Sirius the rainbow octopus

Sirius wakes up (and here's where everything got really bad)

Lily started singing, while to the beat slapping her legs, arms, etc.

Sirius managed to disentangle himself and stand up.

He started to shake his hands… and waist (James couldn't decide which was more disturbing, event 6 or 1… nevermind. 6.)

As he danced around doing a weird hip thrust and foot jiggle, Lily was doing something similar on the ground.

Sirius ran over to Lily and pulled her up, pressing her tightly against his chest (to James' displeasure) and saying "Yehaww Minnie!"

The two of them did a really bad, uncoordinated, painful-to-watch tango.

James shook his head to clear it, but it just kept getting fuzzier and fuzzier. Just as Sirius dipped Lily, who was singing very loudly about her pet lamb or something, Christine walked down the steps. She broke down into laughter and said, "Oh wow, this is better than we thought."

She went up to get Anna, who also couldn't stop laughing.

James ran up and grabbed Lily, in an attempt to save her from herself, and his psychotic friend who was getting a little to close on the dance floor.

She beat him with her hands and said "The ogre! The ogre! He's kidnapping me!"

"It's me! James!" James shouted. He was offended; he didn't look at all like an ogre.

"I shall rescue thee, sweet maiden!" Sirius yelled and then charged him. James swore he saw Sirius transform into a knight on a horse, and back into a stupidly-galloping idiot, and back into a knight. What was going on?

He dropped Lily at the incessant poking of an enraged Sirius, and took shelter on the boys staircase. He climbed it up to his bedroom. He burst in the door, out of breath and ran to Remus' bed. He shook the boy awake. Remus turned his head and James found a big strawberry where his head should be. He screamed and ran to Peter's bed. Peter's head was a plum. OH NO! Freaky mutant fruit-people were taking over the world!

Remus turned and saw James screaming at him. What was happening? James ran over to Peter and then started shouting and trying to climb the dormitory walls with his bare hands.

Remus started laughing. Shortly after he and a bewildered Peter stumbled to the common room, bent over with laughter. That's when they saw Lily jumping from couch to couch, while Sirius danced with a fire poker in what looked like a messy waltz. They fell to the floor in a fit, landing next to Christine and Anna. Behind them on the stairs James crouched and shouted "KAAAKAAAAWWWW!" before leaping into the room.

- A HALF HOUR EARLER -

"Look at them, just sleeping there. Humph" Christine said.

"It's okay, we'll have the party later," Remus said.

"I guess.. hmmm.. actually, I think I have a better idea," she said, grinning and rubbing her palms together in a sinister way.

"Ummm, okay." Remus said.

"Oh man," Anna said, between gasps of laughter.

"Good thing it's Saturday," Remus said, "this won't wear off for quite a while".

This was shaping up to be a great day.

… well, not for everyone.

**Author's Note: A little short chapter-ette thing to kick things off again. Feedback and ideas always welcome. Thank you dear readers/ reviewers. You are the reason I continue this craziness. :) Next, an ode to Sirius, the greatest mischief maker and rainbow octopus in the world:**


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